Why you shouldn't try change your bad habits

We've all done it. In some way or another - where we have tried to change a bad habit. We've failed, beaten ourselves up, then fallen deeper into the bad the habit because its just all to hard.

I often find myself putting on some weight, or feeling quite unenergised. What I've learnt, is that being hard on myself only leads to more unhealthy behaviours. I definitely believe its important to seek help from professionals in the mental health, nutrition, physical fitness and well-being space when we get into a rut.

I also feel that there is so much we can do ourselves. We really have every opportunity to get curious about how we can help ourselves mentally physically and emotionally.

For me its far more empowering to have some internal tools when trying to reach my health and well-being goals. Here's some approaches that have been working for me:

Focus on the good habit 

The key is to focus on the good habit, rather than trying to rid the bad habit. Trying to change a bad habit for us humans usually leads to failure and disappointment. This is because the focus is on the ‘away response’. For example – ‘I shouldn’t eat that caramel slice’. We are putting all our attention into ‘not eating the slice’. Which is drawing our attention to exactly that….trying to stay away from eating the slice, which you guessed it….makes us want to eat the slice even more.

If we focus on all our energy on a good or healthy habit, like going for walk up the road with a fun friend, or starting a new sport, we implement another possible path that can give us confidence that we can change. This works fabulously with our brains, as this new path will over time, become a new habit, and restore hope for healthier way of living.

Start with Compassion

Be kind to yourself and gently notice your self talk. When we are trying to change out of a bad habit, we often think of how much we have failed at eating well, or how naughty we've been with our drinking habits. Its quite common for us to start from a place of self sabotage.

Its super important to be able to catch yourself with these limiting thoughts. Next time you hear yourself saying, oh my gosh I cant remember the last time I did some exercise. Notice this thought, and tell yourself, “ I am doing well coping with everything in my life at the moment”. Or, tell yourself, “ah, this is that feeling again, where I feel sluggish”. Saying something like “that's OK, I know this sluggish feeling is good motivation to do something active soon” is also a good one.

Starting from a place of being kind to ourselves for everything that's happened in the past is a much more powerful platform. This is more likely to lead us into taking action in a healthier way.

Look at your strengths

The amount of people I hear saying, 'I'm not very good at running', or 'I can't exercise I have an injury'. To be honest, I am totally a culprit of this myself. The reality is, if I keep replaying that story of always being last in cross-country at school (LOL for real....running was like anxiety fueled torture for me!), then that same story will keep coming into my life. Our thoughts are quite powerful like that. You know that saying? 'What we focus on expands'? Well I've come to release that this really is how our our brains seem to operate.

If you're trying to lose weight or cut back on drinking make a conscious effort to let go of what is 'wrong with you', and focus as hard as you can on all of the frikkin fabulous unique gifts that you embody. Are you a great musician? Are you a passionate tramper? Do you love helping others in a certain area? Are you a really detailed carpenter? Are you really good with technology? Are you quite creative or curious about something? Keep focusing on that, then use that energy to motivate you into being active or eating well in a fun way that can help you maintain your life passion. Its kind of hard to be a great builder or lawyer or musician if we struggle to get out of bed because of ill health.

I mean its a bit of a miracle we are born into this life really? That should be enough to motivate us to utilise the body we have been gifted and embrace the limitless possibilities this world has on offer.

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Jo Jarden is a personal trainer and yoga teacher and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio in Central Christchurch. With 10 years experience in health promotion, she now helps people one on one with their health and wellbeing. Services include, yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellbeing workshops. To learn more click here