The root of unhappiness is avoiding responsibility

People who refuse to take responsibility for their lives rarely find lasting happiness.  They are often allergic to personal responsibility and prefer instead to complain and blame. Don’t worry, I’ve been there myself, and realised it was wasn’t getting me to where I wanted to be in my own life.

I’ve found that a deeply fulfilling life doesn't just happen by accident. Deliberate, intentional living is the only way to get there.

Here are some of the ways we don’t take responsibility for our own health and wellbeing:

  • Not prioritising our health: Treating our health and wellness as a nice to have, rather than top priority, and then relying on the health system to catch us at the ‘bottom of the cliff’ when things fall apart.

  • Medical labelling: Using labels to explain away behaviour. This approach goes nowhere to helping us grow, evolve and flourish. Mental health labels are keeping people stuck as victims. We can’t heal when we fully identify with our sickness label.

  • Advocacy: Sometimes the best path is to get our own house in order before we start advocating for the latest group that its fashionable to make a noise about.

  • Complaining: We can't complain our way into a better future. Every minute spent complaining is a minute stolen from actually changing anything. What we focus on expands. Focus on problems and we will find more problems. Focus on possibilities and we will find a way forward.

  • Blaming our childhood: Our role in life is to transcend the limitations of our childhood stories and societal norms we have become conditioned by – not to stay stuck in them.

Happiness is an attitude, not a circumstance

Life happens through you, not to you. Therapeutic approaches emphasise that every person is solely responsible for their thoughts feelings actions and behaviours. This is actually liberating because we can set ourselves free at any moment! All people have the ability to choose a new set of thought patterns, habits and behaviours. The past does not equal the future and at any moment you can choose to either be a victim, and feel battered by life, or choose a more empowering story knowing that you are response-ABLE.

Many people think life is happening to them, when in fact, life happens through them. They don’t realise they are living in a hypnosis of disempowerment. They don’t realise that their thoughts are units of energy, which create their life experience. When you realise that you are creating your life in every single moment, you get very careful about the thoughts you choose, and the thoughts you choose to pay attention to.

It’s possible to change our mental state, and it’s desirable to do so

The French writer and Nepalese Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard said that every person possesses the potential for realising their true nature of inner peace. This is the opportunity – we all have a mind, so we all have the potential to be happy and contented. Being response-able means, we understand it’s possible to change our mental state, and that its desirable - despite what’s happening externally in our life, we can choose how we respond.  The ancient practices of yoga, meditation and breathing helps us transform our mind. We create the right conditions in our mind to flourish internally.

Become the hero of your own life

The person that’s coming to save you is you, the version of yourself that’s tired of your situation.

Take responsibility, because no one else is coming to save you. And this is why you must step up and become the hero of your own life. Taking full ownership is the most empowering thing that you can do. Because the pain of doing nothing with your life will always be worse than the pain of doing something with your life.

I like how this image kind of sums it all up….

Book a session with Jo

Jo Jarden is a personal trainer, yoga teacher, and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio 54 Holmwood Road, Merivale, Christchurch. She has 12 year's experience as personal trainer, yoga teacher, and workshop facilitator including working with:

  • Business executives

  • Gyms, group yoga & fitness classes

  • Farmers and rural settings

  • Workplace retreats, events, and conferences

Her approach combines both body and mind practices to help people boost their health and general feelings of positivity. She utilises the combination of ancient yoga wisdom and wellbeing science techniques to help people release tension and grow their inner strengths.

Qualifications include:

Certified Yoga Teacher Santosha Yoga Institute, Registered Australian Yoga Alliance 2017
Certificate in Advanced Personal Training, Fit College New Zealand, 2016
Bachelor of Science with Honours Public Health. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2006
Bachelor of Arts Mass Communication and Psychology. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2005

Contact: jo@heartandmindyoga.co.nz, 022 125 3011.

Jo JardenHeart and Mind Yoga