5 Ways to Live with more Courage
We all know what courage is. Yet it’s very rare that people live a courageous life.
Did you know that people on their death bed have reported wishing they were more courageous with their lives? Research undertaken with people in their final days of their life has found that they regret not the things they had done in their life, but more what they hadn’t done (NCBI)
In short, they wished they had taken more risks and acted more on their dreams. We can draw great inspiration from this wisdom to motivate us to take action today to live with more courage.
“A ship in harbour is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for” – John A Shedd
According to the ancient yoga sutras, the value of courage is closely intertwined with other values. For example - wisdom, personal growth, taking risks, trusting that the universe is working for you, and having clarity of your life’s purpose, giving meaningfully - are all part of living a courageous life.
Similarly, in the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, courage is the ‘cardinal virtue’ of which ALL other values depend on. A Stoic describes a virtue as ‘how we live happy and free lives’ – like a hinge for a good life (The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday).
Based on the ancient yoga wisdom, Stoic philosophy and the scientific evidence base, I explore what prevents us from being courageous, and then 5 ways to practice being more courageous.
What prevents us from being courageous?
We have thought too much about something
Most people don’t live courageously due to overthinking their fears. We think about every possible bad case scenario. We anticipate all the things that could go wrong, the reasons why it wont work out, why its too dangerous and why it won’t work because it’s too costly, and why we’ll be criticized for it.
A lot of times we are afraid because we have thought too much about something, as opposed to not thinking enough about it – Ryan Holiday
We are not living our dreams because we are living out our fears
Most people like the idea of freedom and living courageously, but they don’t want to leave the comfort of their old ways. It’s comfortable, but is it fulfilling?
Some of the most common fears people have include:
The fear of being emotionally and physically uncomfortable
The fear of uncertainty
The fear of being lonely
The fear of being laughed at or failing
The fear of disappointing the parental voices in our head.
We don’t think highly enough of ourselves
We don’t make an impact on the world through courageous action because we don’t think highly enough of ourselves. We don’t think we are worthy. We say to ourselves ‘Who am I to change the world’ ‘Who am I to create an important movement to bring change to the world?” We focus too much on our anxieties and insecurities and lack confidence to ask ourselves “How could I contribute?”
When we give to the world, the unique gift of who we are, it becomes our greatest joy, we see our much greater potential and we feel less separated from the world.
“If not you, then who?” – Elizabeth Rohm, How to lead your life with respect, Podcast on Mindvalley
Secondly, how do we practice being more courageous?
Here’s 5 ways to practice courage in your daily life:
1. Accept that having fear is part of being human
When we think about courage it begins with this battle against fear. We think of our limitations and our risk tolerance. The ancient Stoics described courage as the triumph over that fear. It’s not that courageous people did not feel fear, it’s that they pushed passed it. They did it anyway. They found a way to move forward even with the fear.
2. Ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen?
Anxiety can hold us back from letting go of all our familiar and comfortable ways. The practice of fear setting involves acknowledging our fearful thoughts but doing it consciously. We accept that these thoughts are part of who we are. We imagine the worst-case scenario, and actually play it out in our head. Then we ask, is this still going to stop me? Or do I have it within me to learn and grow?
The key is to hold space for both. The imagining of the adventure and freedom of the unknown that comes with taking a risk, as well as the fearful thoughts. We stay slightly more curious than we are fearful. This allows us to take small deliberate action steps.
You only need to know the direction, not the destination. The direction is enough to make the next choice - James Clear, Atomic Habits
3. Sometimes you just have to go!
In his book ‘The Obstacle is the way; Ryan Holiday draws on the wisdom of a Hebrew prayer that that says, ‘the world is like a narrow bridge’. Although the world can seem like a scary place, the important thing is not to be afraid. We can’t be afraid of the bridge – we just have to go across it. If you peer over the side of the narrow bridge, you can lose the heart to continue. You freeze up, you sit down, you don’t make good decisions, you don’t see clearly. The important thing is that we are not afraid.
How do we get across the bridge? We just have to go!
4. Do one thing every day that scares you
Why is this true? Practicing the ability to do things you’re scared of is literally building your muscle of courage. Start with basic small actions that take you a bit out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t have to be bungy jumping (!) but just something out of your norm. Plan an afternoon for yourself somewhere, a new café, a walk-in nature.
Be sure to celebrate your small successes. Sit and observe how well you did. This activates the reward system in the brain, so you are more likely to more courageous actions going forward.
“Sometimes all people need is a little adventure. Step away from the routine now and then and go on a journey. The fun and perspective might rattle something awake inside. – Brendon Burchard, performance coach and NYT best seller
5. Embrace risk
If you always lean toward what is safe, you are also leaning toward that which is already established in the world. It’s likely to be not very risky, but also is likely to be less in the way of reward. To live courageously means going where there’s no competition, where there aren’t other people doing what you’re doing. Such as starting a small business, a creative project. The potential upside is that the impact you have on the world is likely to be much greater. The courageous life means asking yourself the big questions: Why are you doing what you do? What motivates you? What kind of risks are you willing to take in pursuit of that vision?
Even is something being difficult, we should do it anyway – Elizabeth Rohm
Finally…
Don’t let your current circumstances inform your future self
“The size of our dreams must always exceed our current capacity to achieve them.” Brendon Burchard
If you have a courageous vision to give to something greater than yourself:
You will grow and evolve through the challenges
You will have that thing that pulls you forward
You will feel inspired
You have that thing that gives your life meaning, that’s bigger than you – your life’s calling
You realise there is deeper dimension to life where you give from your heart, from a place of love
Your vision must feel a little crazy. Only a few courageous people take action on their heart felt desires and dreams. But as long as you know that you can grow and evolve to meet the challenges. You know deep down that you have it within you to work it out as you go.
Its very rare that people live with courage.
Choosing courage is not the easy path, but it is the fulfilling path.
Living with courage is not only good for you, but necessary to make ourselves, others around us, and our world a better place.
With love and encouragement,
Jo
Learn more about living with courage at one of the upcoming events with Jo Jarden (Click image to learn more and to book)
One-day Yoga Retreat - Reset and Replenish. Saturday 20th August 10.30am-4.30pm. $155, including lunch. Heart and Mind Yoga Studio 13/21 Bealey Ave, Christchurch. Body and mind practices to CALM YOUR MIND and OPEN YOUR HEART. Yoga ~ Fitness ~ Breathwork ~ Meditation ~ Wisdom talks ~ Deep relaxation. No yoga experience required
The 2Hour Deep Restore. $35. Sunday 24th July 4-6pm at Heart and Mind Yoga 13/21 Bealey Ave Christchurch. No yoga experience required
Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people one on one with their wellbeing through yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellbeing workshops and retreats around New Zealand.
Certified Yoga Teacher Santosha Yoga Institute, Registered Australian Yoga Alliance 2017
Certificate in Advanced Personal Training, Fit College New Zealand, 2016
Bachelor of Science with Honours Public Health. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2006
Bachelor of Arts Mass Communication and Psychology. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2005