Are you stuck in the swamp of ‘Aboutism?’

As we begin a new calendar year you might be starting to think about how you are going to set yourself up to make 2024 the best year yet.

So you ‘like’ events on social media, catch up with family and friends and talk about our goals - because it makes you feel like you’ve taken action on your goals.

People want to change, but they don’t want to change

What I’ve noticed is many people talk about positive inspiring change in their lives, but don’t really live it. They are still in the cognitive mode, the philosophical mode. They have gone to many self-help courses, and read numerous books but they are still stuck, in the same place, because they haven’t taken action.

Global leadership expert Alan Watkins calls this ‘Aboutism.’ They know about it, they know about the need to take risks to better their life , but they don’t actually embody the change. He explains you’re not really any different if you live in this place because nothing has happened much.

You have to be ‘in the arena’

As Brene Brown famously quotes, you actually have to be ‘in the arena’, not just thinking about and talking about being in the arena. You have to have your knees dirty, you have to fall over and get up again and take risks, and step into the unknown. You have to take a leap of faith without knowing exactly how it will work out.

Most people never actually step into the arena because they are scared of letting go of their comfortable ways. There are always trade-offs, if you want to actually make positive change in your life. You can’t have the comforts of your huge salary in your 9-5job for example if you want to live a more simple adventurous life. You can’t keep prioritising tending to your family’s every need and priority  instead of having a regular morning workout habit. You will need to prioritise your ’thing’ and then the other things will have to fall by the way-side.  The question is, how OK are you with this?

To be in the arena means letting go of much of the conditioning, the social conditioning the world is telling you about – that will bring you a ‘successful life.’ You will need to reassess what is success for you, and then actually align your daily actions with those values that reflect your true nature – despite it feeling uncomfortable. All growth means experience discomfort.

Stuck in the swamp of Aboutism

You have to apply your learning to actually change yourself. Learning is different from development. Learning about yourself is an intellectual cognitive process. Development means you apply what you learn in your life, to change yourself (Alan Watkins, The Journey from Mental Health to Enlightenment).

You discover who you really are through the trials and tribulations you apply and change yourself. You have to actually go on the hero’s journey to grow new strengths and capabilities, you have to actually test the edges of your potential.

You might have seen people doing development courses galore, and they think some think useful is happening, been its not. They are in fact stuck in what Alan Watkin refers to as a swamp – this swamp of being stuck in your head, rather than actually embodying the chance. Many people get stuck in this swamp and never actually change.

You have to embody the change, not just talk about it.

Crossing the threshold

Joseph Campbell calls this ‘crossing the threshold’. In essence, this means moving from the ‘old you’ to the ‘new you’ by committing fully and completely to this unchartered territory. If you don’t actually cross the threshold your life will never improve.

Real change never really occurs if you don’t cross the threshold. For example, what often happens is, people can intellectually understand the journey ahead – they know they have to ‘grow up’, they know they have to have those difficult conversations and disappoint others around them – but they don’t actually commit to doing it, so it all remains theoretical and intellectual knowledge. They might say “I’ve learnt a bit how to make healthy boundaries, but I’ve actually not done it.”

You have to jump. You actually have to take a leap of faith the cross the threshold if you want your life to improve.

You embody it – you experience the true rewards of a life lived fully

When you have gone through a genuine transformation, you realise you are different now.

You get a sense that you need to give back and help because you’ve learnt a bit about reality, and how you work, and how others work, and you know you have to return to share that. In other words, you have started to find a sense of purpose in your life.

You now operate and deliver to others from a new version of you, a higher version of you - your higher self with everything you have learnt, with the growth you’ve had.

The development has created a profound transformation in you. You have upgraded your human operating system to a new level and you will find you’ll inspire others by who you have become. Others will naturally get curious about you. If you’re truly walking the walk, not just talking the talk, and your change will be a sense of inspiration to others.

True fulfilment in life comes from actually being in the arena, learning growing through the struggles of taking the path less travelled, and then giving back – through the gifts of who you’ve become, to make the world around you a better place.

To truly have a great 2024….

I encourage you to take action now and actually be the change, embody the change, move out of the ‘swamp’…and not just talk about the change. Find out in my next Wellness Retreat January 20th, how to practically make the change you wish to have in your life in 2024.

Here’s a nice quote I thought wraps this all up nicely:

“Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing
Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing
Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing
Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing
Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing
Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing
Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing
Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing
Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing
Fantasising about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing
Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing
Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing
Reading this essay isn't doing the thing
The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.”

— Strangest Loop

Click the image below for details on the upcoming retreat.

Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people find mental peace, physical vitality and to live purpose, through health coaching, yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellness events.