Have you ever had that feeling that deep down you know you were meant to be doing something different, something more fulfilling and meaningful with your life?

Perhaps you have started asking more honest questions of yourself, like “Am I meant to just go to work and go home and provide for my family, or is there something more meaningful I can do with my life?”

Or perhaps you just find yourself binge watching you-tube videos (or similar) to escape a reality that just feels a bit crappy a lot of the time.

Well, you are not alone.

Most people are not living a life that’s based on their true values, desires and unique strengths. Usually, it’s only when things really fall apart at the seams, so-to-speak, that people are willing to take a good look at their life and start to consider real change for the better.

The great news is, it is possible to turn things around at any point and live a life that feels more meaningful to you. You will need to get some clarity, take some time to ask yourself some deep reflective questions, and be willing to take action, with courage and consistency.

After listening to Simon Alexander Ong speak on this topic with such influence and clarity (see his video here), I decided to share my own reflections based on his work.

If you feel like you might not be where you want to be in your life, here’s 5 ways to help you get on path to living the life that deep down you know is meant for you.

1. Take responsibility

When the pain you’re in now is greater than the pain it takes to change, you are ready for true change. Pain can be a great motivator, and in my experience can even project us on a more meaningful path in life. This pain you’re experiencing is the exact catalyst to move you toward taking responsibility for where you are in your life, and where you want to be.

It’s only when you start truly accepting and owning where you are, and where you’d rather be, that change can really start happening in your life.

Most people never take responsibility for their life and blame other people – they blame things outside of their control. Blaming others for where you are right now is easy to do. It’s harder to take responsibility for your life. It’s hard to change your focus to your potential future – to what can be.

2. Begin with the end in mind

You need to get clarity about where you want to be. As Socrates once said, “The secret to success is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

So, start with the end in mind. Ask yourself, how would you know that by the end of this year you would have had a successful year? Or even the end of this week? When you begin with the end in mind, you give context for today’s actions. You are able to align your actions in the present, to make the future possible.

Otherwise, you might find yourself climbing up the wrong mountain. Many people are climbing fast up the wrong mountain. “It’s far better to be climbing slowly up the right mountain than it is to be climbing fast up the wrong mountain” - Simon Alexander Ong

3. Do some self-reflection

The essence of all wisdom is about knowing yourself. In a quiet space, free of distraction, go inwards and ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. What does success mean to you? Be careful not to get swept up into what others have wanted for you. If you look around, most people are pulled in the direction of other people’s priorities and never end up doing the things that truly matter to them. As highlighted in Bronnie Ware’s book on ‘The Top Five Regrets of The Dying’ one of the top regrets people had was that they wished they lived their life more on their own terms, rather than living their life for others. When you are clear with your own definition of success, you can start aligning your actions with that definition.

2. What sort of impact do you want to have on the world? When we have a positive impact on the lives of other people, we feel fulfilled, we feel truly alive and inspired. It gives our life meaning.

3. What value can you offer others? What are your strengths and unique gifts? We are all born with different gifts and talents but most of us squash our light to conform to what society expects us to be. When we spend our days, weeks, and months doing things that don’t allow us to express our true potential, it creates inner tension, and we get sick physically, mentally, and spiritually. All because we are going against who we are.

4. Make time, commit, have courage

Once you are clear on what success means to you, what impact you want to have, and what value you bring to the world, you’ll need to make time for it. Because it won’t just happen wishing, wanting, believing.

You will need to be committed and you’ll need to take action, not just talk and think about it.

You will also need courage. To step into your new life, you will need to be willing to let go of your old life. You can’t have one without the other. Your new life will cost you old one.

5. Focus on who you want to become – your future identity

Imagine the type of person you need to become to have the life you want. Act today like that person already. Think 20 years ahead – what is the successful version of you like? What are they doing? Who are they spending time with? What characteristics are they embodying and demonstrating?

Indecision in your life today comes from not being clear about who you want to become. Focus on the identity of your future self -and take actions today that align with that.

Be consistent in your habits and actions. Have discipline to get closer to who you want to be. It’s easy to begin, but it’s harder to finish.

“When you make moves toward what you want, what you want makes moves toward you” – Simon Alexander Ong

Jo Jarden is a health coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and founder of Heart and Mind Yoga Christchurch New Zealand. She helps people find mental peace, physical vitality, and to live with purpose.

The next event is this weekend! The 2hour Deep Restore Sunday 19th May 5.30pm $45 Learn more here

Deep down you know you were meant for something better