Why being rebellious is good for you
I wrote this kneeling on the floor in the kids section of the Kaikoura library.
There were no kids there so I figured I would get away with it. I prefer to sit on the floor rather than chairs wherever possible. I find it's more comfortable for my spine and hips. Also, the kids section has lots of comfy pillows to get in a great seated position....why do 'adults sections' often have boring table and chairs anyway?
Over the past 3 years I’ve taken some serious ‘me time’ away from the 9-5 city life. I left my Auckland job in health management, and set off exploring New Zealand in a van in search of living a healthier lifestyle with less stress.
What I didn’t realise would happen, was that this period of ‘timeout’ from my real life has since become my full time real life (more on the van life later). What I now have time for, is tonnes of reading and listening to podcasts by other dedicated experts in the well-being and mental health world.
For me, breaking my own rules and branching out of the expected norm has lead to a much fun and fulfillment. I would say it has even enhanced my general well-being. I don't mean go out and break the law to draw attention to yourself. I mean challenge your norms a little. As long its not harming any one, or taking advantage of anyone, I say go for it.
Here are three 3 tips that have helped me be rebellious for the benefit of my mental, physical and emotional health.
1. Notice how you are being conditioned
If like me, you have been brought up with a fair amount of structure in your life, it's great to take notice of how this may have framed your current circumstances. Kind of look down on your life, and challenge all the systems that have brought you to this point.
For example, school life, family life, the media (including social media) and work life all have little quirks and expectations that we unconsciously mold to, to fit into. Sometimes we don't even know it's happening to us. We might believe that to be successful we need to find a good job on 'Seek', we need to dress a certain way, or we think we must find a significant other to be 'complete'. This gradual and consistent conditioning over time can lead to us finding ourselves in a current situation that seems unfulfilling.
Simply starting to take note of the past conditioning is a significant step in upgrading your general well-being. Don't wait till you have that midlife crisis. Start reflecting and noticing now how your current life circumstances may have eventuated through other sources - sources outside of your own real authentic intentions.
From here we have immense power to heal, have gratitude for what our past circumstances have brought us, and then more consciously carve out meaningful activities can lead to a more purposeful fulfilling life.
2. Do things out of YOUR norm
Take actions that stretch your norm a little. You might never know how intensely rewarding that feeling at the top of the hill climb might be if you don't ditch all your mundane Sunday afternoon chores to do what you never thought could be achieved.
Go take yourself, on your own, to a cafe. Even though you might feel like a loner and it seems like everyone else is in their cosy little couple scenarios. I find, that going to a cafe on my own is a great way to engage the service staff, find out something new about a new area, or even just notice the fascinating interaction of the funny human species around you.
Of course everyone has a different way of being rebellious. For you being rebellious might be trying a new salad recipe even though you're only 40% sure it'll work out. My rebellion activity today was leaving my campsite half an hour later than the check out time. My intuition told me it was worth it, and that I was likely to get away with it. The benefit of staying 30 more minutes to enjoy the bliss of sipping on my coffee, rather than rushing off to 'follow the rules' did prove worthwhile for a fulfilling start to my day.
It doesn't have to be extreme. You don't have to ditch the office life to live in a van like me (although I highly recommend it...even for a few months). The accumulation of finding mini rules to bend from time to time is likely to lead to splashes of joy, some thrill, and even help you become fitter and healthier.
3. Rest even though you shouldn't
This is probably my most life changing learning recently. I know, it seems lazy to talk about. The idea of rest in the western culture is often followed by 'where can I find time to rest.' I often felt a sense of feeling guilty for taking time to have an afternoon rest to recharge. We have crammed our lives with so much 'busy-ness' it seems impossible or lazy to rest.
Arriana Huffington in her book 'Thrive' talks of how our relentless pursuit of money and power has lead to burnout and stress related illnesses, an erosion in the quality of our relationships, family life, and ironically our career. In NZ we have issues with mental health, stress, and burnout calling for a need to rethink our culture our work place and our lives and what being successful really is.
We need to be rebellious with how we rest. It's got to that point where we need to tell those around us, and we may let people down, but, we must boldly carve out 1 hour in our day for ourselves to simply, rest. This means real rest, not flicking through social media or glaring at the TV.
Go and lie down, listen to some music, feel your body relax and make an intention to calm your mind by noticing your breath. If we don't, we lurch for chocolate, for booze, or take out our scratchy emotions on those around us. Simply because we need more rest.
Be a rebel. Just a little bit of a rebel. What have you got to loose? Whats the worst that can happen? If there's a chance it might add some nourishing value to your daily life, why not push the boundaries?
Jo Jarden is a personal trainer and yoga teacher and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio in Central Christchurch. With 10 years experience in health promotion, she now helps people one on one with their wellbeing. Services include, yoga teaching, personal training,workplace yoga and wellbeing workshops.
Heart & Mind Yoga has a range of yoga classes for all levels, including beginners yoga. Learn more and book here