6 Ways to Boost your Mental Strength and Fitness this Winter
It’s one thing to workout, but what about ‘working in?’
Just as we can build our physical strength in the gym, there are ways we can build our inner strength and fitness so that we have the inner resilience to face whatever life throws at us. In fact, this is what I would say is true health and wellbeing – to able to be OK and at peace with the way life is. Not wanting it to be different but instead being willing to look at our response to it. Not an easy task, but a worthwhile one, when what we are talking about here, is our life.
As Viktor Frankl, the Austrian psychologist and Holocaust survivor famously said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
These days I like to treat winter sort of like going on ‘an inner journey’ where we can start to explore ways to feel strong and resilient on the inside.
So, if you’re not in a position to book that luxury holiday to Spain or Bali this winter, no worries (!) you can join me in getting curious about ways to take the ‘inner journey’ to feeling good mentally, physically, and spiritually.
6 ways to boost your mental strength and fitness this winter
1. Knowing your ‘why’ makes you more resilient
What are you here for? Our purpose is that undercurrent within us all that gives our life meaning. It can be hard to know what our purpose is if we find we are always pulled in the direction of other people’s priorities. We kind of just ‘go with the flow’ rather than ask ourselves whether this next action aligns with our bigger picture plans. In the long run, this only leads to us feeling resentful, stressed and unfulfilled.
People with clarity of their life’s purpose are more resilient. We cannot buffer ourselves from adversity or challenging life experiences, but what really matters is how we recover from it. When you know your direction and commit your life to giving to something greater than yourself, the little things don’t upset you so much. Research has found that people who report greater purpose in life may recover better than others because this purpose could help them reframe stressful situations with more productivity.
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Friedrich Nietzsche, German philosopher
2. Be intentional with your attention
Where we direct our focus will determine who we become, how we live, and how happy we are. These days, with all the technological stimulation on hand, it’s even more important to notice who is trying to take your attention. If we focus on the negative, such as what’s ‘going wrong’ in the world, and comparing ourselves to others, we will feel bad. If we focus on the positive, such as our aspirations to bring good to the world, we will feel good.
Especially in times of stress its helpful to focus your attention on things that are going to boost your inner wellbeing, instead of things that make you worry, and feel low. For example, refocussing on your purpose – specific goals that will benefit ourselves and others – will be more effective that ruminating about what’s not going well in your life. What you choose to focus on has a big impact on how you will show up in the world.
“Our experience is what we agree to attend to” – William James, American philosopher and psychologist
3. Notice if you have a ‘victim mindset’
People who have a victim mindset have a perception that something outside of themselves caused their situation, and that this determines their happiness or sadness.
They think ‘somebody is to blame as to why I’m unhappy’, or that ‘the world is against them.’ This is a very disempowering way to live.
When we begin to take responsibility for our own thinking, our own perception and what we say, we learn that our thoughts are units of mental energy that shape our life experience. We can start to explore what stories or identities we might have taken on that feel important us. Do these narratives give you a sense of importance?
“Remember that being the victim can give us a sense of importance, just as much as someone with power” – Joan Tollifson, author of Nothing to Grasp, and Bare Bones Meditation.
4. Notice the confirmation bias
As human beings, we are all very vulnerable to the confirmation bias where we tend to listen to and hear only what confirms our existing perspective.
With social media, and news channels infiltrating our consciousness, this is even easier to be affected by this bias. We have this ‘black or white thinking’, where we get very sure that we are right or wrong and view the world in terms of extremes – things are either all good or all bad, when real life is much more nuanced than this. It’s more often, ‘a bit of this, and a bit of that’.
As well as black and white thinking, other common bias’s include ‘over-generalising’ where people think that something that has happened before will occur over and over again, when in reality any number of outcomes are possible.
Or we ‘catastrophise’, where we jump to the worst-case scenario which leads them to worry about things that may never happen (Farmstrong, Live Well Farm Well).
Just to be clear, this doesn’t mean we can’t have opinions, or that we have to think every perspective is equally true.
To break through the confirmation bias means we become aware of this thinking trap and realise how our perspective is often coloured by our own limited experiences, and how our mind is often more motivated by fear than optimism.
5. Sit in quiet
When you take time to sit in quiet, such as in yoga class, you are able to watch your mind. You might start to notice that your whole life you have been busy running after what your mind is telling you it wants, grasping for things, and avoiding things to try get to a state of wellbeing.
When we sit and relax with an intention to connect to our inner steadiness – we become the witness our breath and our body. The Buddhists call this place within us the ‘source’ or the ‘seed of self’ - it is the essence of your true natural self. The more we practice sitting in quiet, the more we are able to experience the joy of being - we move from our head to our heart and become free from the constraints of our thinking mind. We start to experience feelings of love, compassion for ourselves and others, contentment, and joy.
“All of humanities problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone” - French philosopher Blaise Pascal
6. Take a good hard look at your life
Do you often feel like you on the ‘hamster wheel of life, as if you are just never getting on top of things, and constantly over committed? This happens when we haven’t taken time to examine our life honestly and asked the deeper questions of ourselves. Questions such as ‘Am I living the life I want to be living, or have I taken on roles and identities to please others, or to fit in with what society says will bring success?’
Waking up to life, means we realize that we are in fact ‘on the wheel’, and that it could be possible to get off. Most people have no idea what it’s like to get ‘off the wheel’…because it’s scary, so that’s why they’ve never done it. If you constantly feel stressed on the hamster wheel of life, maybe it’s time to take a different approach – I mean, the fact that you’re still doing it, indicates that it doesn’t work?
The whole spiritual path - and indeed having ‘good wellbeing’ - is about letting go of living a life in a way society tell you ‘should be living’ and aligning your daily actions more with your true values.
‘When your core spiritual values are aligned with what you spend the majority of your time doing, it creates unity in your soul” - Leila Janah, founder of Samasource
Jo Jarden is a health coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and founder of Heart and Mind Yoga Christchurch New Zealand. She helps people find mental peace, physical vitality, and to live with purpose. Her services include: Workplace yoga and wellness workshops, private yoga and health coaching, and events.
Check out her upcoming One-day Wellness Retreat Sunday 4th August 2024 (Click the image below for more info)
