I’ve been spending this ‘space’ between the last part of 2021 and these first weeks of 2022 reflecting on how we live these days, and the way we respond to life’s challenges. It seems that the common narrative is that 2021 was as a ‘terrible year’ or ‘one that needs forgetting’. This narrative encourages us to think that if life didn’t turn out exactly as expected, then it has lesser value. That’s not a good way to live, because we essentially waste our life way always striving to control everything so we can feel comfortable. We are too quick to judge what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

Whereas the best part of life is finding the joy of being in the present moment, acceptance, and learning from the things we find difficult.

At this time of year, I wonder why so many people give away their power to socially constructed fictions like the calendar year, one arbitrary day when we should all be so happy (Christmas), New Years resolutions, and the media and social media narrative of the day - all of which are usually focussed on fear, outrage, social comparison and not enoughness.

Yoga, by helping us go inward and being present, can take us deeper to find a more stable sense of reality, where we can be content with what is, and feel our own power to calm our minds and open our hearts.

Here are 8 reflections on the year that’s been based on some of my favourite values: taking responsibility, courage, authenticity, awareness, finding and living your truth, wisdom, and consideration for the common good.

1. We have a society that is encouraging ‘rescuing’ people instead of empowering them
We have lost our ability to be with ourselves especially when we are uncomfortable or lonely or uncertain or afraid. Our problems are not special. We most likely don’t need a special label to identify why we are struggling. We are just struggling. Instead of filling the void with booze, over socialising, scrolling Facebook, keeping busy, if we can be with ourselves, with compassion for our own painful feelings, we see deeper into ourself, and shed the old self so a new self emerges. Growth only comes through struggle. Rescuing someone, or wanting to be rescued, is very rewarding, and feels honourable to us doing the rescuing, but is disempowering. Encouraging others to take responsibility is the hero’s path.

2. Courage doesn’t mean having no fear. Courage is not simply doing a scary thing but not being afraid. Courage is doing the right thing without fear. It’s about protecting the common good, protecting the innocent and vulnerable and it’s about not negatively impacting another person. It’s about having an obligation to come together and solve problems for the common good. The philosophy of Stoicism points out that courage also exits on a spectrum. Being cowardly is the absence of courage; being reckless is the opposite end of courage; and in the middle is true courage –neither recklessness or running away from. Courage is not being afraid but being aware. Doing that tiny thing you can do to alleviate pain and suffering to make the world a better safer place.

3. Start casting votes for the type of person you want to become. One way to do this is to reconsider social media habits. We think that a quick look at our social media feed for just a few moments a day isn’t a big deal. The author and technology entrepreneur Jaron Lanier explains how we as humans are the product of the powerful artificial intelligence of the technological platforms: “It's the gradual, slight, imperceptible change in your own behaviour and perception that is the product.” This is pretty scary stuff – scrolling through Facebook is not just a bad habit, it’s changing our psychology. All the tiny decisions you make throughout your day creates who you are. You are casting votes for the type of person you want to become.

3. We have lost our ability to know what’s true. When you spend time in your own company, when you close your eyes and go inwards, you know yourself more, and you are more likely to live your life based on your own true authentic values rather than what society tells you is true. Most people don’t want to hear this, because closing your eyes and being with yourself, with your own thoughts– is not very exciting or glamourous. Yoga and meditation helps you know yourself more. Scrolling social media, keeping busy, or over socialising will not.

4. There is a process that happens to us over time called social conditioning. We are born these wild unique beings with limitless potential to bring good to the world and to experience a deep fulfilling life. Then social conditioning happens to us. These are cages we get put in, so we start to play roles based on who the world wants us to be instead of living by who we are on the inside. We lose ourselves in our relationships, our job roles and life starts to feel mundane and glum. You can unearth these beliefs that are so engrained in you. They are controlling your decisions in your life.

5. True freedom begins when we design our life from inside out (not from the outside in). We can begin to unravel this process of social conditioning with questioning things like – Why do I even get into Christmas? Do I have other interests outside of my children, my family? What was I conditioned to believe about being a good daughter, son, wife? What would make me feel more alive? Do I need to go on holiday at the same time as everyone else? Is there another way of living? Could I have more adventurous experiences by owning a bit less or downsizing? We start to realise we have deeply engrained beliefs we are basing our lives upon which may not be serving us, or the world. Ask yourself what matters to you? What are your true values? What are your gifts. Make your inner life the greatest adventure – it is a wonderful place to explore!

6. Who and what you spend your time on matters – Life is short, we can die at any time. Many of us give up years of our life pleasing others because they want us to be a certain way for them. Remind yourself of the cost – the time in your life you will never get back. But most importantly what we are depriving the world of by you not spending time on that thing that truly matters to you.

7. Our reason for being here is to make a positive difference in the world. Make your life about what you give, not what you can get. Our life is about taking time to find your unique gifts and being brave enough to bring that into the world for the benefit of others. Think of the difference you could make in the world if you decided to pursue that thing that’s calling you, rather than tend to the priorities of others around you who don’t have a clear vision for their own life.

8. People are going to constantly judge us. Whether we go after our big dreams or do nothing, we going to be judged either way. If we sit on the couch eating burger rings all day, our parents and friends will say “you’re lazy, do something with your life”. If we go chase after the most compelling vision for our life, we will have people who are going to judge us and try to bring us down. So we might as well do something with our lives, and choose only very specific people for feedback.

"To understand life is to understand ourselves, and that is both the beginning and the end of education." —J. KRISHNAMURTI

Warmest yogi regards

Jo

Learn more about how to live with more freedom and fulfillment at the upcoming courses and retreats with Jo

Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people one on one with their wellbeing through yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellbeing workshops.

Qualifications include:

Certified Yoga Teacher Santosha Yoga Institute, Registered Australian Yoga Alliance 2017
Certificate in Advanced Personal Training, Fit College New Zealand, 2016
Bachelor of Science with Honours Public Health. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2006
Bachelor of Arts Mass Communication and Psychology. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2005

8 Ways to cultivate a Stable sense of reality