The greatest gift you can give yourself this year
The greatest gift you can ever give to yourself is the gift of taking full responsibility for your life.
Because if you, and you alone, are responsible for how you experience your life (up to this point), then the solution to changing your life experience for the better is also right there in the room with you.
People think that life is happening to us
Some people think life is happening to us, and that other people make us feel the way we do. This is a very unhealthy attitude as we are always victim to circumstance and other people, so we are very powerless.
A healthier lens to look through is, that ‘we are happening in life’. With this mindset we appreciate that we will have ups and downs in life, it may be difficult at times, but we know that what matters is how we respond. We have the freedom to choose, which is asking ourselves – is there an alternative perspective to this situation, that will be better for my health and happiness in the longer term?
3 Stages of designing your most inspiring life
After 10 years of researching personal growth and experimenting with my own life about how to live in a more empowered and fulfilling way, here’s 3 stages that I’ve come through that have helped me on the path of growth and becoming more responsible for my life. These may resonate with you too.
1. Feeling stuck
The opposite to feeling empowered, is feeling stuck. You feel like you are the victim of your circumstances. People in this stage have a perception that something or someone outside of themselves caused their situation, and that this determines their happiness or sadness.
People in this stage also have a strong blame story. They think ‘somebody is to blame as to why I’m unhappy’, or that ‘the world is against them’.
2. You become response-able
When you stop believing that somebody’s got your back or that superman (or superwoman) is coming, you turn to yourself. And this is when you become empowered.
You realise the only thing you have control over is how you choose to respond. You begin to take responsibility for your own thinking, your own perception and what you say. You learn that your thoughts are units of mental energy and that your thoughts shape your life experience.
When you deliberately choose high-level thinking and match it with elevated emotions, you will live with more joy and vitality. And….all that is not aligned will begin to leave your life. You learn to be disciplined in what you react and respond to – not everyone deserves your time energy and your attention.
Life responds to the quality of our thoughts, and the quality of our character.
“If there is peace in your mind you will find peace with everybody. If your mind is agitated, you will find agitation everywhere. So first find peace within and you will see this inner peace reflected everywhere else.” - H. W. L. Poonja
3. Desire the life you want
You can establish an intention and begin to desire the type of life you want. If you ask yourself regularly, what do I want? Who do I want to be? Your energy flows where your intention goes, and your life begins to shift toward that which we want. If you don’t get clear on what kind of life you want to live, you get pulled into other people’s priorities and gradually end up feeling dull and unfulfilled.
Step into uncertainty
Courageous participation attracts positive things.
When you take action toward becoming a person you admire and respect, you have to take risks. It can be scary because you have to step into uncertainty. It often feels that what we really desire deep down is deliberately placed out of reach, but the good thing is, is that we have to become the type of person it takes to obtain it. Often this is because we don’t actually need to change who we are, but actually discard who we are not.
Become the author of your life. Write a new empowering story for your life. Get clear on your values. Notice your gifts. Commit to actions that give momentum to the life you desire.
8 questions to help become more response-ABLE
Does my thinking empower me?
Is there another perspective here?
Can I reframe that experience from the past that would be more positive and meaningful?
Could that difficult experience actually give me the insight and strength to help others going through something similar?
What can I contribute to the world?
How can I be more myself?
What is unique about me?
If no one knew of me, and I was completely anonymous, so I didn’t have to fit with others expectations, what would I really want for my life? Ask this question of yourself once a year.
Jo Jarden is a health coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and founder of Heart and Mind Yoga Christchurch New Zealand. She helps people find mental peace, physical vitality, and to live with purpose
Services include:
Workplace Yoga - 1 hour yoga session, or wellbeing workshops
Private Session - 1 hour health coaching session, beginners yoga session
Community events - Monthly 2Hr Deep Restore
Retreats - Beachside Retreat Saturday 21st January 2023
Learn more here and book, or contact Jo 022 125 3011
