Have you noticed some people, even some experts saying recently “New Zealander's are really struggling with our mental health” or “2023 is the hardest year ever” because of ……and just name one of many things - “because of the pandemic,” “because the weathers bad”.

Of course, some natural disasters can cause major upset and upheaval in some people lives. But make sure you’re not attaching yourself to someone else’s story.

We have a tendency to latch onto the popular narrative

Did this event actually happen to you? Or are you part of the 90% of the rest of the country who didn’t get affected? Even it did happen to someone close to you, can you notice stories of hope, stories of courage?

I’m not saying it’s not extremely challenging for some communities when unexpected events occur causing upheaval. I’m just highlighting the fact that many of us seem to latch on to stories of how hard life is for us, when often, its just the easy narrative to turn to - because we get rewards. We get others filling that needy part of us that wants people to feel sorry for us.

As well, this ‘poor me’ story helps us feel sorry for ourselves so we don’t have to do brave things.

Challenge helps us evolve

Humans are made to bounce back from hard things.

Most of us only really know our true strength when challenge comes our way.

Sure we can have compassion for those people struggling. But make sure we are not latching onto the victim story and reaping rewards for ‘how hard things are for us’.

A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials – Seneca.

Be response-able

Be responsible for your thoughts and the stories you are telling yourself.

Someone who is the victim of their circumstances always has a ‘blame story’. Its someone elses fault that things are hard for them.

Someone who is response-able knows that their thoughts are units of energy that become their reality. When we let go of the belief that someone is coming to rescue us, we become truly empowered. We become our own hero.

You are story teller of your own life, not just the character in the movie.

Energy flow where your attention goes

Where you focus your attention, determines how you life, who you become, and how happy you are.

If you focus on what’s not going well, and how hard your life is, more of that will emerge in your life.

If you focus on what’s going well in your life, what strengths would have to emerge from you for you to be at peace, more of that will grow in you

If every time something hard happens in our life results in us having a ‘mental health problem’ then we would all be doomed!

The ‘poor me’ story is very contagious - write a new empowering one

Be careful where you focus your attention. Notice what stories you might be taking on from the world around you. The ‘poor me’ story is very contagious!

In a moment of stuggle ask your, ‘What quality would have to emerge from me, for me to feel some peace of mind?’ (Usually its some kind of inner strength)

Choose a story that reflects your true nature - one of strength, pure possibility, love and abundance.

Jo Jarden is a health coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and founder of Heart and Mind Yoga, 147 Papanui Road, Christchurch New Zealand. She helps people find mental peace, physical vitality, and to live with purpose. See her upcoming offerings below :

Workplace Yoga - 1 hour yoga session, or half day workshop/retreat Learn more

Private Session - 1 hour Personal Training, Health coaching session, Beginners yoga session Learn more
Retreats - One-day and weekend retreats coming soon!
Monthly 2Hr Deep Restore Next event 19th March 2023

Do you have a 'poor me' story?