What are we really yearning for at Christmas?
It’s that time of year again
Very few people question Christmas and all it involves. There is a vague idea that this is 'just what we do' and we'd better do our best to enjoy it.
It's a strange time, one day that cobbles together religious symbolism and pagan rituals, consumerism, hope that 'family dynamics' will miraculously dissolve, mad cooking marathons, overeating and nostalgia.
In past times of scarcity (real scarcity) it would have made total sense to have a celebration to get us through the winter months, and to eat well (instead of semi starving) and have a few treats. But today, we have 24/7 supermarkets stacked with food, and huge barns stacked full of cut-price goods we can purchase and god like technology in our iPhones...
What are we really yearning for?
What are we really yearning for as we put so much store into one day.....?
The yogis (and other wisdom traditions) would say that what we are really looking for is a deep sense of joy, and contentment. However, we get swayed by the belief that you can find externally – which never ends well.
I mean, it’s much easier, enticing, and polite to go with the status quo of Christmas, rather than ask the deeper questions that get to the root cause of our feelings of unfulfillment.
7 Healthy Ways to think about the Summer Solstice period
For those of us wanting to live a life informed by yoga and other deep wisdom traditions it could be worth reflecting on how the ‘silly season’ can prompt some thinking on better ways to spend the summer solstice.
1. Being grateful for what we have, not craving for more. Always wanting more, is a major problem of our time. The science writer Michael Easter has written two evidence informed books on this topic I recommend, ‘Scarcity Brain’ and ‘The Comfort Crisis’.
Christmas hypes up the impulse for more, more gifts, more food and alcohol, more cheesy Christmas music, more ‘perfect’ family time, more fun at the office parties.
“When more is the goal, we never fully arrive. It is insatiable. And that is the problem with always wanting more. Happiness and contentment will always elude us if we are looking for it in the acquisition of more”- Becomingminimalist.com.
Being grateful will make us happier and it is something we can do every day, with even a simple 5-minute practice, not just on one day of the year.
2. Living a life of simplicity. Living simply but living well, takes the clutter out of our lives, also leading to a clearer, less cluttered mind. It frees up our time and allows us space to get our priorities right. Christmas works against this with the complications of present buying, travel chaos and organising - as we all charge around the country at the same time.
3. Make every day extra special, not just one day a year. Why wait for Christmas? Peace, and happiness and love are available to you now.
4. Set boundaries with your family. There is a saying from the wise yogi Ram Dass that goes, “If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” As much as we might love our families, we have created a myth that we can pressure cooker family happiness into this time, while ignoring the underlying dysfunctions. It's worth asking ourselves, “Am I trying to hold on to some kind of fantasy that soothes a childish part of me?” “Is this really joy, or is this filling a void that hasn't been addressed in a healthy way?”
5. Think for yourself. Christmas is like the beehive mind on steroids. We just follow the crowd. Going along with what everybody else is doing makes life seem easier for a while, but ultimately, we pay the price as our own unique path is crushed by the social consensus steamroller. Thinking for ourselves requires courage, and other people don’t like it - it is dangerous as it challenges their comforting story. Be prepared to be called a ‘grinch’ if you challenge Christmas.
6. Look for happiness, contentment on the inside, not in the external world. This is where all the great spiritual traditions converge. Peace, love and happiness are within you. They won’t come from the trappings of Christmas. Focussing as much on being, not just doing, sounds passive, but in fact will make you a stronger force for good in the world. If you spend Christmas alone, this should be good news, not sad! A quiet day without shopping to spend some time going inwards …yay!
“You need not depend on any external factor. You have got within yourself an eternal source of security, an eternal source of fullness, an eternal source of joy. That source is within you; that is you yourself” - Acharya Shunya, author of 'The Sovereign Self'
7. Find your own religion and celebrate that. For some Christmas is still a time when they celebrate the birth of Christianity's founder. But it’s hard to deny that our modern religion is consumerism (closely followed by families, and then rugby). If none of these are our spiritual path, then surely, we should make our celebrations of life relevant to what we truly value.
Wishing that you find the love, peace and contentment that is already inside of you, every day of the year.
Warm yogi regards, Jo
Check out the upcoming wellness events and services with Jo Jarden, Heart and Mind Yoga, Christchurch, New Zealand
One-day Beachside Yoga Retreat Saturday 18th January 2025
A 4-day High Country Wellness Experience at Middlehurst Station, Awatere Valley, Marlborough 27 March 2025
Private yoga or health coaching session at 54 Holmwood Road
Workplace Yoga - schedule it in for 2025!
Jo Jarden is a personal trainer, yoga teacher, and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio 54 Holmwood Road, Merivale, Christchurch. She has 12 year's experience as personal trainer, yoga teacher, and workshop facilitator including working with:
Business executives
Gyms, group yoga & fitness classes
Farmers and rural settings
Workplace retreats, events, and conferences
Her approach combines both body and mind practices to help people boost their health and general feelings of positivity. She utilises the combination of ancient yoga wisdom and wellbeing science techniques to help people release tension and grow their inner strengths.
Qualifications include:
Certified Yoga Teacher Santosha Yoga Institute, Registered Australian Yoga Alliance 2017
Certificate in Advanced Personal Training, Fit College New Zealand, 2016
Bachelor of Science with Honours Public Health. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2006
Bachelor of Arts Mass Communication and Psychology. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2005