Why doing hard things is good for you
Our lives, these days, are surrounded by comfort.
We are constantly on a mission to find ways to make our lives easier, less effortful, more comfortable and convenient. If we are a little cold, we can control the climate to our desire with the push of the heat pump button. If we are the slightest bit bored, we pull out our phone. We can have food delivered to our door and can nip up the road to supermarket shelves full of any product we desire.
But this has consequences.
People these days, more than ever lack meaning in their lives, have high rates of chronic disease, and as a society we have the highest rates of depression and anxiety in history.
So why is it then if the world is more efficient than ever, that life feels harder?
Why are we all feeling tired, and exhausted?
We are materially rich, but our souls are sick.
After listening to Michael Easter speak to the concept of Comfort Creep, I was inspired to learn more, and share with you all why I think we have a comfort crisis, and what we can do to live a more fulfilling meaningful life – which I’ve learnt, is not necessarily comfortable!
1.Our comfort crisis
Comfort Creep
You could say that we have a ‘comfort crisis.’ Researchers have founded this idea of concept creep (the official term is ‘relevance induced concept change’). When something new is introduced to our lives, that improves our lives, we adapt to it. Our human brain has evolved to make relative comparisons. So, when we have more comforts introduced to our lives, we don’t necessarily become more satisfied with them.
We don’t look back and think “I’m making good progress here.” Instead, we look back at the last thing and think “that’s unacceptable.”
This also applies to perceived problems in our lives
Once we have solved a problem, we don’t think “Oh, I have fewer problems now.” We go looking for the next problem to solve (Haha! I can certainly relate to this!). So we end up with the same number of problems, but our new problems are progressively more hollow.
The science of first world problems
That’s right – this is essentially the science of first world problems! If we keep turning the dial of our lives toward comfort, convenience and keep creating a world where everything is done for us, eventually we can’t even cope with the smallest of challenges in life!
We don’t think back to the time when we didn’t have an iPhone and we had to send a postcard from Europe to let our family know all is well. Instead, we panic when the internet crashes, when we don’t have access to Instagram, or when google maps doesn’t work. We can’t cope with the small things nowadays.
2.How to overcome comfort creep
Do hard things
Humans thrive on challenges. So instead of avoiding discomfort, finding hard things to do, that challenge us, can be good for our mental and physical health.
In his book The Comfort Crisis : Embrace Discomfort to Reclaim Your Wild Happy Healthy Self, Michael Easter introduces us to the Japanese term Misogi. This refers to an epic outdoor challenge that tests us so profoundly, that we come back a changed person with new skills and abilities. The challenge of a Misogi activates the innate evolutionary machinery that lies within all of us. It’s our ability to do hard things, and whether we succeed or fail, we come back a different person, a more competent, and confident person.
Similar to the ‘hero’s journey’ that has been documented in mythology for thousands of years – we take on a huge challenge, we realise our true potential because we have really been tested, and we come back with new abilities, and a new mindset.
It’s not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It’s because we do not dare that they are difficult - Seneca.
Test the edges of your potential
Human beings have a huge potential to bring great things to the world, to make the world a better place, to evolve and change through the challenges.
If you hold your arms our wide, image you are holding a huge beach ball – this is actually the size of your real potential (and beyond). Now imagine the size of your dinner plate. This is the potential most people reach in their lifetime.
Most people never test the edges of their potential.
Taking on hard things and ‘testing our edges’, helps us:
1. Learn about ourselves – whether we make it, or not
2. Experience that failure is possible – our modern world has outsized our fear of failure
When we never test the edges of our true potential, we miss a lot of life.
Change your mindset around stress
Many of us think stress is bad for us, so we avoid anything stressful. Elissa Epel, a world leader in the research of stress, reports that we need stress to live a healthy fulfilling life. She recommends practicing bursts of stress, such as resistance training at the gym, as it makes our muscles stronger over time and we become more resistant to stress in body and mind. Similar to this is Wim Hoff’s work around cold immersion – the stress of the cold on the body and mind affects our physiology in positive ways.
I think of all the stressful and meaningful things I have done in recent years, such as opening and running a yoga studio, living creatively, travelling on my own, learning to tow a caravan (backing was very stressful lol), organising and delivering events when I’m not entirely sure how things will work out, or even just taking a walk up the Rapaki when the resistance to stay home and eat crackers and cheese was strong! These acts of ‘self-induced stress’, has helped build my inner resources so over time, I can do even more cool things to help other others! (my purpose). As they say, the only way through, is to do..
The body wants stress, we can’t avoid it. And training ourselves with bursts of stress and doing hard things in our life is good for us, for our mental and physical health.
Other ways to overcome comfort creep
Know your key values – When we live in alignment to our values, we are more able to make everyday decisions that lead to a more meaningful life, over the happy comfortable life. See my blog Do you know your key values?
Visualise your future self – rather than base your identity on events of your past, its healthier to imagine an inspiring version of yourself, someone you admire, and make daily decisions that would lead to that. Asking who do you want to be? Is more important than what is wrong with your life. See my blog 8 Clues for Finding your Purpose
Trust that life is working for you – even when things are difficult, we can deconstruct our stories of the past and re-write them to create a more empowering story that reflects our true nature of pure possibility. See my blog The most important question you can ask yourself
“Pursuing your purpose transforms your entire life. You select your purpose, you invest yourself in it, you change yourself and your life for it, you improve the world through it.” Benjamin Hardy, Personality Isn’t Permanent.
Jo Jarden is a health coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and founder of Heart and Mind Yoga, 147 Papanui Road, Christchurch New Zealand. She helps people find mental peace, physical vitality and to live with purpose.
Jo’s wellbeing offerings include:
Monthly 2Hr Deep Restore - Next event Sunday 21st May
Workplace Yoga - Book a yoga session for your workplace
Private Session - 1 hour Personal Training, Health Coaching session, Beginners Yoga Session. Email Jo
Retreats - A One-day Wellness Retreat. Next Retreat coming soon!