Camping on my own
I recently returned from a week’s camping trip on my own in my tent. I stayed in some fairly remote places, where I could enjoy the simplicity of living close to nature, soaking up the goodness of some of New Zealand’s most beautiful remote beaches, walking tracks, and stunning picturesque views.
I’ve done this on and off for about 12 years now, since I left the ‘normal 9-5 life’ (see this blog here). I always get so much benefit mentally, physically, spiritually when I create time for myself, to get away from it all and go on an adventure that strips away my usual habits and routines and takes me slightly out of my comfort zone.
It’s just not the ‘norm’ in NZ – to camp on your own
Interestingly, on this particular trip, I noticed that on more than one occasion, other curious campers came up to me and asked “are you camping on your own?”
The first lady who asked this, then said…”that’s inspiring.” I reflected on this later and thought ‘that’s a nice comment.’ I’m just going about my camping day, setting up my tent, boiling my water on my camp oven for my breakfast coffee, fending off the odd cheeky weka, and heading off for day-long walks and lying around reading books and snoozing on my own, and I’m inspiring others? huh, that’s interesting…
I have to say, I never really thought of it like this. I was just ‘doing me.’ Then a few days later another lady, at a beach camp that wasn’t really that remote at all, said a similar thing to me, and I’m not sure if it was meant as a positive comment or not? I mean, why did she not ask the same question of the man camping next to me on his own in a single tent, enjoying the sunset, after a bike ride, and the views of the mountains in solitude?
I thought, gosh, this really gets me thinking, perhaps I am in a bit of a minority, as a woman, going camping on my own?
And if this is not the norm, why is it that more people (especially women) aren’t doing this? I mean its so healthy and good for our soul.
Going against the grain – doing it alone, as a woman
Let me first outline what seems to be seen as ‘normal and acceptable’ according to our society in New Zealand campsites. Also, let me caveat this by saying, I appreciate this is a bit of a generalisation, but it is what I’ve mostly experienced in my 12 years of camping around NZ. Camping generally is done in this fashion in our country:
With the family. Usually a Hilux or similar, pulling a huge caravan, or multi -person tent, perhaps a 2-4 children, and a dog. Sometimes more than one dog.
The man backs the caravan, winds down the legs, puts up the tent, the woman tends to the kitchen, the bedding.
Camping involves fussing over the dog, tending to children, getting a bit drunk, sitting around overeating. The caravans often have TVs.
There might be a few moments alone to have quiet time, but mostly camping involves constant, steady interaction.
Now, I’m not anti-dogs or anti families, by any means. I’ve just noticed the tendency of kiwis to resist quiet time alone in simplicity. In short, people seem to bring a lot of their unhealthy ‘home habits’ to their camping life.
What I loved about one particular campsite I went to on this most recent trip, was that people were doing really healthy things. No dogs were allowed, there was no access to power or internet, school holidays were over, so it was very quiet and peaceful. People were more inclined to be reading books, watching the waves roll in, going for walks, and just going about their day collecting water in buckets for their food preparation, and enjoying the surrounds. I had the odd chat with the other campers at the communal water tap. I talked with an older man who worked on vineyards in France in his younger years. I didn’t intend to stay at the water tap that long, but I could tell he enjoyed that chat. I caught a smile from another woman on her own enjoying the even sun on the beach. I thought later, this has got to be better than ‘messenger chats’.
If you are camping on your own, without ‘all the extras’, you are likely to be gaining many healthy benefits in being one of the few people willing to go against the grain. You have ‘just enough’ so that you are able to appreciate to the true benefits of living close to nature (rather than ‘glamping), and you have learnt how to put up your own tent, and how to heat up your own food and enjoy the simplicity of walking on your own, and enjoying the gifts of nature on offer.
Just as the ancient yoga sutras talk about, living healthily is not about getting more, doing more, having more people and things around you, or even attending another meditation course. There’s nothing wrong with having all these things, but they will never become your source of true happiness and contentment.
The path to a healthier, happier life is about doing less. It’s about letting go of your conditioned ways of living.
Living simply is not living without, its enjoying life with everything you need
Doing challenging things is good for you
On my most recent trip I wanted to go to a campsite that had 12 kilometres of winding gravel road – but I was afraid of driving this road. In the end I just did it – and mindfully. I told myself at every narrow corner, ‘just imagine a car is coming the other way’, and so that’s how I drove every corner. Slowly and mindfully, and leaving heaps of space. And surprise surprise, I got there. I also felt more confident to do it again next time.
Like I’ve said, camping in a tent, is something I’ve done for many years now, so it doesn’t feel too challenging for me now a days. However, starting out, I had to overcome a few limiting thoughts around camping. For example, here’s some of the thoughts the ‘old Jo’ would have about camping on my own:
Don’t I need a man to help with the tent stuff? How about the cooking, how do I even cook something camping?
What if I break down on my own, how will I cope?
Will I manage all the driving on my own?
Yes, you might laugh at some of these comments, but I know I’m not alone in having these thoughts. My point is, it’s normal starting out to have these doubts, but what matters is whether you do it anyway. Most people don’t, and drag someone along with them to sooth their fears, and never experience the benefits of gaining new capabilities, and competencies through doing something out of their norm. As reflected in the ‘hero’s journey’ told around campfires in Indigenous cultures for thousands of years, we only grow through challenge, and overcoming what some researchers and authors have called ‘the comfort crisis’ (read more in my blog here, Why doing hard things is good for you).
“If you want something you never had, you have to do something you’ve never done“ - Thomas Jefferson
The stigmas of solitude
People around you might think your choice for solitude is weird. I believe that seeking more alone time is a sign of growth, not weirdness. In a society where constant socialising (either online or offline) is often considered signs of healthy and well adjusted, preferring solitude can be misunderstood as being antisocial, or a bit too introverted.
The funny thing is, that some of the most profound and beautiful moments in life are often experienced in solitude. Having a willingness to spend time in your own company is an indicator of mental, emotional and spiritual growth, not craziness as some might call it.
Having a willingness to self-reflect
Seeking more alone also time isn’t a sign of rejecting the world, but more about embracing yourself. This is where the spiritual journey often begins for people. It’s in the quiet moments of solitude that we connect to something deeper. We notice our wandering mind, our mental tendencies, and realise these patterns that are just our ego, stories we have taken on from our fear-based culture around us and our upbringing. This is the essence of yoga, to become the witness of our thoughts, so that we are not held captive by them. We have a connection to our wise inner self observing it all go by without identifying to our wandering mind. It’s in the quiet moments of solitude we hear the whispers of our higher self, free from the opinions, judgements and noise from the outside world.
When you prefer your own company to that of others, its like holding a mirror up to your soul – the deepest part of your being. But most people won’t do this because it’s frightening – to see yourself clearly without distraction.
Remember, you are not really ‘alone’
Its really a sign that you feel complete within yourself, and that you don’t need another person or external circumstance to define your sense of wellbeing. If people around you find your choice for solitude a little weird, remember that you are not alone. Throughout history many wise souls have taught solitude to find deeper truths.
“If you can fall in love with yourself and love yourself when you’re by yourself, then you can be with others. If you don’t like yourself when you’re by yourself, then you’re pulling on others to make you happy” – Michael Beckwith
Learn more about living a more fufilling life with inner contenment and joy at the upcoming Beachside Wellness Retreat Saturday 2nd March 2024
Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people find mental peace, physical vitality and to live purpose, through health coaching, yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellness events. Connect with her offerings here
