Is superman coming?
I remember, a few years after my Mum passed away I felt quite lonely, and down. I felt like everyone else had a Mum to go to and call their ‘safe space’ their ‘ home base’, but I didn’t. This was my story “My life is hard because my Mum has died.”
In my university holidays, I used to love going home to the family home, and lying on the carpet like a cat in the living room, with the sun streaming in on the floor and drifting off to sleep for afternoon naps as Mum tinkered away in the kitchen. This felt like a haven, a place to recharge - especially for a young sensitive empathetic woman finding her way in a harsh world.
But I didn’t have this anymore.
I was lonely. After years of seeking help from various therapists, friends, and endlessly travelling and smashing myself at the gym in my attempts to ‘find happiness’, I finally surrendered to the idea that NOONE IS COMING TO RESCUE ME.
For the next 5 years I committed my life to living from a different story. I decided that I could take life into my own hands more. I started putting my own priorities first - over my office job, over the social expectations of what a 33 year old woman ‘should be doing with their life’ - and tended to myself with the upmost care through yoga, movement, living creatively, enjoying my own company, giving to others, adventuring in the NZ outdoors, living mindfully and simply and having long afternoons resting and reflecting. Read more here
In short, I started living a more empowered life – I learnt to love myself in the way I most needed. I also grew in confidence, took new risks, and developed a sense of connection to the abundance and love in the world. I let go old social habits, and created fulfilling new friendships with people more aligned to my values. I was carving out a life based on my own strengths and values including living my truth, compassion, authenticity, and having time to do more what truly matters to me. It helped me realise what I’m here for - to help others find mental peace, and physical vitality, freedom and fulfilment.
It has reshaped who I am today, as a yoga teacher, personal trainer, business owner, and a lover of lifes simple pleasures.
3 Stages of personal growth
I have also done a tonne of learning on this topic to help understand my own experience. In short, I’ve come to understand 3 key stages of personal growth which can lead us to live a more empowered and fulfilling life.
1. Feeling stuck
The opposite to feeling empowered, is feeling stuck. You feel like you are the victim of your circumstances. People in this stage have a perception that something outside of themselves caused their situation, and that this determines their happiness or sadness.
People in this stage also have a strong blame story. They think ‘somebody is to blame as to why I’m unhappy’, or that ‘the world is against them’.
2. Taking responsibility
When people stop believing that somebody’s got your back or that superman (or superwoman) is coming, we turn to ourselves. And this is when you become empowered.
We begin to take responsibility for our own thinking, our own perception and what we say. We learn that our thoughts are units of mental energy and that our thoughts shape our life experience.
When you deliberately choose high-level thinking and match it with elevated emotions, you will live with more joy and vitality. And….all that is not aligned will begin to leave your life. Be disciplined in what you react and respond to – not everyone deserves your time energy and your attention.
Life responds to the quality of your thoughts, and the quality of your character
3. Desire the life you want
We can establish an intention and begin to desire the type of life we want. If we ask ourselves regularly What do I want? Who do I want to be? Our energy flows where our intention goes, and our life begins to shift toward that which we want. If we don’t get clear on what kind of life we want to live, we get pulled into other people’s priorities and gradually end up feeling dull and unfulfilled.
Here’s some questions that have helped me redesign my life in a positive way:
What can I contribute to the world?
How can I be more myself?
What is unique about me?
If no one knew of me, and I was completely anonymous, what would I want for my life? How would it look in 3 years time?
You are here to flourish
We are not here in this world to ‘see what I can get’, but rather we are here to let something unfold. If a rose seed is put in the right conditions, it flourishes. We are capable of bringing our true potential to the world – if we are willing to be our own superhero.
Courageous participation attracts positive things.
We are all here to evolve
What we desire is deliberately placed out of reach so that we can become the type of person it takes to obtain it. Yoga helps us recognise that we don’t need to change who we are, but more discard who we are not, and design who we want to be.
Become the author of your life. Write a new empowering story for your life. Get clear on your values. Notice your gifts. Commit to actions that give momentum to the life you desire.
Its your job to make you happy – no one else’s. Be your own hero
With love and compassion,
Jo
Check out the upcoming retreats and courses at Heart and Mind Yoga studio:
Christchurch 1 Day Yoga Retreat ** 4 Spaces Left!** Beachside Yoga Retreat, Christchurch 27th Feb. Beginners Welcome
Beginners Yoga Course 5 - weeks - starts soon!
Beginners yoga Course Level 2 - advance on your beginners practice.
Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people one on one with their wellbeing through yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellbeing workshops.
Qualifications include: Certified Yoga Teacher Santosha Yoga Institute, Registered Australian Yoga Alliance 2017
Certificate in Advanced Personal Training, Fit College New Zealand, 2016
Bachelor of Science with Honours Public Health. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2006
Bachelor of Arts Mass Communication and Psychology. University of Canterbury, New Zealand 2005