What is stability, really?

Recently I moved into my new home, that I’m proud to own and very much enjoying. Someone said to me recently ‘that’s good, now you’ll have some stability’.  

That got me thinking, what is ‘stability’ really?

Outer stability, vs inner stability

Having a house, a regular job, a traditional marriage type arrangement and nuclear family, are often seen as giving us stability.

But in many ways these things are transitory, we can lose them at a moments notice or gradually over time….

The wise ancient yogis have always talked about the illusion of permanence.

Consider this. We have so much more wealth, technology safety and possessions that 200 years ago. Despite what the news media would like you to believe, it is well documented how much safer, wealthier and socially progressive the world is than it used to be. In short it’s a more ‘stable’ world. But social science also shows how rates of depression and anxiety and addiction, even sleep problems, are increasing.

I think stability has more to do with our mind rather than what happens out there in the world, to us. Unfortunately, our minds are being corrupted by our society’s obsession with comfort, status, being special and liked on social media, and our addiction to buying stuff and ending up with endless clutter.

Inner stability

While I feel privileged to now have a home, I feel even more privileged to have been introduced to the inner wisdom which comes from yoga and other longstanding wisdom traditions on how to live well. While of course I am a work in progress, this path has directed me towards inner stability.

This is the stability that cannot be taken from us, because it is the stability of how the world really is not how we would like to see it. How the world really is, is glimpsed when we live authentically, or spend time in nature, or put aside our to-do list, or choose to live simply. These deeper glimpses also come to us in moments of meditation.  What we find is the world just is. For a moment we can see that at a deep level it doesn’t need to be any other way. This creates deep peace. Inner stability.

Of course, we still need to contribute to the world being a better place, but from the foundation of being, not striving and having.

A simple life helps you experience the richness of life

I have recently been enjoying reflecting on the ancient yoga and mindfulness wisdom which reminds us that whether we are in a mansion, or a studio apartment, it doesn’t make much difference internally if we choose to accept this moment. We begin to observe those beliefs and stories about what ‘is success to me’.

In the past when living my van life, I sometimes had the ‘omg what am I doing with my life’ thought. But I challenged this …. and I started to simply accept my situation - fully. You could say, I turned my life into a meditation – of course there were challenges (the odd possum, and some cold nights, being down to my last dollar), but I mostly remember feeling so much gratitude for the beautiful surrounds, the spaciousness calm, and simplicity in my life.  Just carrying my dishes in the bucket to a camp kitchen was kind of enjoyable.

When we slow down, and simplify our life, we experience the richness of life, we see deeper layers, the nuances with this expanded awareness that are otherwise lost when we are lost in thought, and busyness in our modern-day lifestyles.

Lasting happiness comes from within

Looking within and nourishing the deeper joy within us, fulfills us, and gives us energy and insight.

We start to become aware that the busy-ness, the advertising, the tendency to do more and buy more is an unconscious reaction to a craving within us. Its our ego driving these buying behaviours – this game of consumerism, comparison and status.

We notice how we have been conditioned from a young age that birthday gifts bring us the greatest source of happiness – then we live our whole lives like this, and constantly crave outside pleasures.

We realise the things we buy, only take us further away from our inner joy and peace.

Place your self-worth not on the value of the things you surround yourself with, but on the value you have given to other people and the value you feel from within.”  – Todd Perelmuter

We appreciate what we have, but we don’t let the things we own, own us.

We can step off the ‘rat wheel’ of life because it just doesn’t take us anywhere, and it’s exhausting!

We have less clutter and busyness in our lives, and we have more time for what matters.

Living simply does not mean going without. It’s the middle path of having what we need, but not starving ourselves. It’s good to occasionally appreciate the finer things in life. If we don’t look to those things for lasting happiness.

When we have a connection to our inner joy, everything in addition to that is a blessing – we appreciate it even more.

“When you know that the source of lasting happiness comes from within, then you aren’t chasing it outside of you and you are keeping all that energy instead of expending it, and you put it into your passions and your dreams and that would be a different looking world.”  - Todd Perelmuter

*I was inspired to write this blog after listening to Todd Perelmuters Podcast ‘Path to Peace’. See his website https://www.toddperelmuter.org/

Jo Jarden is a certified personal trainer and yoga teacher in Christchurch New Zealand and the founder of Heart and Mind Yoga studio. She has 10 years experience in health promotion in New Zealand and Australia including management and promotion of national chronic disease prevention programs. She now helps people one on one with their wellbeing through health coaching, yoga teaching, personal training, workplace yoga and wellness events. 

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